A few e-mailed to me

KYOTIKID

New member
BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN
> > > > When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like
> > > > me who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly
> > > > cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.
> > > > BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN
> > > > 6-7 lb. chicken
> > > > 1 cup melted butter
> > > > 1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good.)
> > > > 1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT)
> > > > Salt/pepper to taste
> > > > ______________________________
> > > > Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted
butter,
> > > > salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in
> > > > baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven. Listen
for
> > > > the popping sounds.
> > > >
> > > > When the chicken's a$$ blows the oven door open and the chicken
> flies
> > > > across the room, it is done.
> > > >
> > > > And you thought I couldn't cook..........



A Little Chuckle about Chicken

An Asian lady married an English gentleman and they lived happily ever after
in London. However, the poor lady was not very proficient in English, but
did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever
she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't
know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her
skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home
with chicken legs.

The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how
to say it, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the
butcher her breast. The lady got what she wanted.

The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy wieners. Unable to find a way to
communicate this, she brought her husband to the store .

> Hellooooooo!!!!??
>

> What were you thinking?!!!!!
>
> Her husband speaks English!!!!!



Quickies

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values.

Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"

Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name.?"

A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?"

The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, because I still have mine"

"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,"
"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."

A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't
like the looks of your wife at all."

"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids."

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

More Quickies...

Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"

The agent replies, "Just a minute..."

"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
________________________________________________________

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

"How was he killed?" asked one detective.

"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
________________________________________________________
The investigation of Martha Stewart continues. Her recipe for chicken casserole is quite efficient. First you boil the chicken in water. And then you dump the stock.
________________________________________________________
This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing the tightest pants he's ever seen. Finally his curiosity gets the best of him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?"

The young woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you could start by buying me a drink."
________________________________________________________
Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."

Joe: "Really?"

Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."

________________________________________________________
A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.

"I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered.

"What did he say," asked the nurse.

"OOPS!"

_______________________________________________________
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of
bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.

"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"

"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."

________________________________________________________
Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter and beeped the horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation.

He said, "I did that by accident."

She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."

He replied, "How did you know?"

She said, "Because you didn't say 'a$$hole' afterwards."
 


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