A few thousandths of "crush" when seating primers is good. You want to seat them firmly, with a slight crush, to make sure the legs of the anvil are bottomed out in the pocket and the priming pellet is going to get crunched nicely between the anvil and the cup when the firing pin strikes. But any more than this, isn't good. It will cause inconsistant ignition at best, misfires at worst. If you are reducing the shoulder radius of the primers at all, you are using too much force in seating. Try and just seat them until you can feel the anvil bottoming out, and then just the slightest little "crush" more.
K&M makes a fancy attachment for their priming tool that allows you to actually measure the "crush" for each primer you seat, to get maximum consistency. But for most of us, we just rely on "feel", and that works "just great". The Lee tool gives good feel, works good. I have a couple of Sinclair priming tools, that give exceptional feel, but they are overkill in the extreme unless you are just really into handloading (I am...).
- DAA