YoteSackbuster
New member
Please help... this is a true story and I need all the help I can get...
My evil leader goat escaped out of the goat pen Wednesday, and jumped on the hood of my jeep, (saw another goat in the windshield) and butted out the windshield. He then jumped on my new 500 dollar canvas top and made a mess all over it. After he was bored with that, he decided that he could jump on the barn roof from the overhang that the jeep was under. My wife called me offshore and told me what had happened and asked me what she should do... I told her move the jeep, if he jumped down on the top he will go through it. I figured if he got hungry enough he would find his own way down...... I went home Saturday (week on week off) and that evil goat was still on the barn roof, squalling at the top of his lungs, up on the peak of the roof. All of the other goats had gathered around like he was some kind of messiah (it looked like the mountain scene from close encounters)... He did eat all the foliage from around the barn... the only positive aspect of this whole sorry state of affairs..... My barn roof is 35 feet high with a very steep angle, but is only made of thin sheet metal and 2x4's. I am 6'4 and weigh about 275 and would drop through like a rock so getting on the roof was not an option. The lowest edge is 10 feet from the ground, except for the overhang I park the jeep under.
Some Muslims in town have been buying goats from me recently and I figured that if I shot him, I could sell him to the heathens and get revenge all at the same time. Maybe even get enough cash to replace the windshield...
Sent my son in for the SPAS and 2 OO buck shotshells....
I drew a bead in the ghost ring and BLAM.......
He spun around and around and landed half over each side of the peak of the [beeep] roof... This happened yesterday morning and he is starting to get ripe. I can't shoot him again as it will damage the roof.... I tried lassoing him.... throwing stuff at him..... etc.... I called the local VFD (I always send them their 25 dollar suggested donation) they laughed.... I don't have an extension ladder that will get me close enough, and I don't want to take the chance of sending one of my children up there...
My wife is pretty upset at this point and it is around a hundred deg. today and the mess is starting to drip down off the barn roof and goats don't smell good when they are alive...
help.........
Tried 4 inch grapping hook with 2 lbs weight.... finally got it to hook a couple of times.... got about 3 lbs of goat down off roof.... I got out my pressure washer and flopped him around a little. It is a 2500PSI job and even on highest setting would not do much other than flop him around. He must be snagged on the stripping that covers the top where the sheep metal comes together. This is getting pretty gross...
The other goats are mumbling in low tones and leering at me malevolently.... Am going back to the VFD to borrow a long extension ladder.......
Patsy dearest.... two things you avoid when you weigh 275 pounds are other people's rattan furniture.... and walking the beams...
I borrowed a 20 ft. extension ladder from the VFD and set it up as close to the peak as possible. I glued together 2- 10' pipe joints of 1" PVC and threaded the rope through the pipe twice to form a lasso at one end, and tied a noose in it. After an hour or so of almost falling off... I managed to get him around his horns and tighten the rope by twisting it. I had a lot of rope left over.... so we managed to get the pipe off of the rope. I don't have any room behind the barn to pull him off.... so the rope was actually going over the peak to get to his head on the other side... (from the front of the barn). I tugged a little bit, and though it must have been a leverage problem because of the way it was going over the peak.... I pulled harder and that evil goat just would not budge.... I had been at it all day.... and was getting pretty upset at this point and made the final mistake of the day.... I unhinged the jeep windshield and lowered it down.... I removed the top and hung it over the clothesline (to be pressure washed later)... and backed the jeep in front of the barn.... I tied the hundred or so feet of rope to the jeep very securely and grinning like an idiot at my cleverness... put it in granny gear and took off...... It was about three seconds before the rope got taut... at which point 3 - 36' pieces of roofing metal came peeling down about halfway to the bottom and the goat catapaulted off pelting me with partially disintegrated goat carcass parts...
I am at a loss for words..... I always considered myself kind of an intellectual type..... and jeeez...people like me own guns....
My evil leader goat escaped out of the goat pen Wednesday, and jumped on the hood of my jeep, (saw another goat in the windshield) and butted out the windshield. He then jumped on my new 500 dollar canvas top and made a mess all over it. After he was bored with that, he decided that he could jump on the barn roof from the overhang that the jeep was under. My wife called me offshore and told me what had happened and asked me what she should do... I told her move the jeep, if he jumped down on the top he will go through it. I figured if he got hungry enough he would find his own way down...... I went home Saturday (week on week off) and that evil goat was still on the barn roof, squalling at the top of his lungs, up on the peak of the roof. All of the other goats had gathered around like he was some kind of messiah (it looked like the mountain scene from close encounters)... He did eat all the foliage from around the barn... the only positive aspect of this whole sorry state of affairs..... My barn roof is 35 feet high with a very steep angle, but is only made of thin sheet metal and 2x4's. I am 6'4 and weigh about 275 and would drop through like a rock so getting on the roof was not an option. The lowest edge is 10 feet from the ground, except for the overhang I park the jeep under.
Some Muslims in town have been buying goats from me recently and I figured that if I shot him, I could sell him to the heathens and get revenge all at the same time. Maybe even get enough cash to replace the windshield...
Sent my son in for the SPAS and 2 OO buck shotshells....
I drew a bead in the ghost ring and BLAM.......
He spun around and around and landed half over each side of the peak of the [beeep] roof... This happened yesterday morning and he is starting to get ripe. I can't shoot him again as it will damage the roof.... I tried lassoing him.... throwing stuff at him..... etc.... I called the local VFD (I always send them their 25 dollar suggested donation) they laughed.... I don't have an extension ladder that will get me close enough, and I don't want to take the chance of sending one of my children up there...
My wife is pretty upset at this point and it is around a hundred deg. today and the mess is starting to drip down off the barn roof and goats don't smell good when they are alive...
help.........
Tried 4 inch grapping hook with 2 lbs weight.... finally got it to hook a couple of times.... got about 3 lbs of goat down off roof.... I got out my pressure washer and flopped him around a little. It is a 2500PSI job and even on highest setting would not do much other than flop him around. He must be snagged on the stripping that covers the top where the sheep metal comes together. This is getting pretty gross...
The other goats are mumbling in low tones and leering at me malevolently.... Am going back to the VFD to borrow a long extension ladder.......
Patsy dearest.... two things you avoid when you weigh 275 pounds are other people's rattan furniture.... and walking the beams...
I borrowed a 20 ft. extension ladder from the VFD and set it up as close to the peak as possible. I glued together 2- 10' pipe joints of 1" PVC and threaded the rope through the pipe twice to form a lasso at one end, and tied a noose in it. After an hour or so of almost falling off... I managed to get him around his horns and tighten the rope by twisting it. I had a lot of rope left over.... so we managed to get the pipe off of the rope. I don't have any room behind the barn to pull him off.... so the rope was actually going over the peak to get to his head on the other side... (from the front of the barn). I tugged a little bit, and though it must have been a leverage problem because of the way it was going over the peak.... I pulled harder and that evil goat just would not budge.... I had been at it all day.... and was getting pretty upset at this point and made the final mistake of the day.... I unhinged the jeep windshield and lowered it down.... I removed the top and hung it over the clothesline (to be pressure washed later)... and backed the jeep in front of the barn.... I tied the hundred or so feet of rope to the jeep very securely and grinning like an idiot at my cleverness... put it in granny gear and took off...... It was about three seconds before the rope got taut... at which point 3 - 36' pieces of roofing metal came peeling down about halfway to the bottom and the goat catapaulted off pelting me with partially disintegrated goat carcass parts...
I am at a loss for words..... I always considered myself kind of an intellectual type..... and jeeez...people like me own guns....
