Ever been beat up by your kid?

Will, all I can say is wow. I can relate to situation as my parents divorced when I was young. With that being said I would never attack my dad the way your son did, no reason for it. I won't give advice on how to handle the situation because I have no faith in the court system but you should be careful around him. I hope your injuries heal quickly and you get this worked out.
 
Will,
My heart goes out to you. Having kids is work work and more work!!! Not one of my siblings have ever raised a hand to our parents, I just don't understand it. My brother was in and out of reform school, jail, prison and has the shortest fuse of anyone that I have ever met! He was constantly fighting since he was a kid, and has since finally mellowed out.....but never even thought of hitting my parents.

My dad was a hard man to know, he never told us that he loved us and thought we all just knew it!!!! It wasn't until I was 25 or so that I actually told him "Dad, I love you", the look on his face was pure shock. My dad put the fear of death us early, ie, that he would beat our @$$ if we screwed up, and trust me, we got our beatings....rightfully deserved too.

Your son needs his @$$ kicked by someone his own age or older. Sorry, he needs to know what a beating is, so he can fully understand what you felt like.....and how he won't want another one.

I can only hope that he grows up, and quits the self pity trip and realizes that life isn't fair and life goes on. You don't owe him a dam thing, he's a grown man and he needs to act like one.
 
Originally Posted By: gonzagaWill,
My heart goes out to you. Having kids is work work and more work!!! Not one of my siblings have ever raised a hand to our parents, I just don't understand it. My brother was in and out of reform school, jail, prison and has the shortest fuse of anyone that I have ever met! He was constantly fighting since he was a kid, and has since finally mellowed out.....but never even thought of hitting my parents.

My dad was a hard man to know, he never told us that he loved us and thought we all just knew it!!!! It wasn't until I was 25 or so that I actually told him "Dad, I love you", the look on his face was pure shock. My dad put the fear of death us early, ie, that he would beat our @$$ if we screwed up, and trust me, we got our beatings....rightfully deserved too.

Your son needs his @$$ kicked by someone his own age or older. Sorry, he needs to know what a beating is, so he can fully understand what you felt like.....and how he won't want another one.

I can only hope that he grows up, and quits the self pity trip and realizes that life isn't fair and life goes on. You don't owe him a dam thing, he's a grown man and he needs to act like one.

I can't tell you how many times my parents, especially my mom said that to me and my brother and sister. No pun intended, but he could learn how to roll with the punches in life.
 
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Originally Posted By: coyotesmokeSounds to me like he is the one that needs a good [beeep] whipping for lack of manners and respect.

understand the growing up situation was different, but laying a hand on my father would have been the last thing on my mind, and still is.

my dad tells the story that his oldest brother one time was feeling his oats and went after my grandpa at about age 15-16 or so because of some disagreement. Didn't go well for oldest brother. He probably regrets doing that to this day based on the lack of respect showed to a man deserving much better.
 
Sounds like we need to see him get into the cage with the cage Fighter and get his SORRY [beeep] tuned up then get this boy some proffesional help.How could one whoop his dad over chit.Bring him to Boston for 2 minutes.Dad as we say here stay Boston Strong.
 
I started taking pictures two days after this all took place.
I finally got around to uploading them.

Although it looks like it, I actually wasn't mad when these pictures were taken.
It just looks that way due to the swelling.
(Beard & hair are covering some of it. And bruising had yet to start on the first couple pics.)

Two days after......



Three days......






Four days......






After a "shave" & haircut. Day five.
Note the bruising above & behind the ear, along the side of the head......




Ten days after, (two days ago)......

 
I hope you are getting back to 100%. Not trying to Monday morning QB you here but a little advice from a LEO
This should have been reported that day, I know it sucks and but that’s what should have been done. If he is on probation for domestic battery already like you said he has establish a pattern of behavior and it is going to continue and more than likely intensify. Was the DB against a girlfriend/wife or another family member?
If he is on probation his supervising officer could have pulled him in on the report of this activity and just guessing he is probably not supposed to be drinking either. It is good you took the pics of your injuries. The longer you go without reporting it though is not helping your case against him.
My advice to you would be keeping the pictures in a safe place and save any angry voicemails or text he sends you. If and when it happens again it will be more evidence for you to turn in. I don’t know how your County Atty’s works but you might be able to file for a PFA (Protection from Abuse order) against him without filing charges; it might be something you should look into.
I can’t imagine how this felt emotionally and physically, and pray I don’t have to find out with my children. Your son has committed two counts of domestic battery that we know of and my guess it’s happened more than that and just not been reported.
If not for you, do it so the next girlfriend/wife/family member doesn’t have to take a beating.
If you have any questions Pm me and I see if I can help.
 
Originally Posted By: LawDog79I hope you are getting back to 100%. Not trying to Monday morning QB you here but a little advice from a LEO
This should have been reported that day, I know it sucks and but that’s what should have been done. If he is on probation for domestic battery already like you said he has establish a pattern of behavior and it is going to continue and more than likely intensify. Was the DB against a girlfriend/wife or another family member?
If he is on probation his supervising officer could have pulled him in on the report of this activity and just guessing he is probably not supposed to be drinking either. It is good you took the pics of your injuries. The longer you go without reporting it though is not helping your case against him.
My advice to you would be keeping the pictures in a safe place and save any angry voicemails or text he sends you. If and when it happens again it will be more evidence for you to turn in. I don’t know how your County Atty’s works but you might be able to file for a PFA (Protection from Abuse order) against him without filing charges; it might be something you should look into.
I can’t imagine how this felt emotionally and physically, and pray I don’t have to find out with my children. Your son has committed two counts of domestic battery that we know of and my guess it’s happened more than that and just not been reported.
If not for you, do it so the next girlfriend/wife/family member doesn’t have to take a beating.
If you have any questions Pm me and I see if I can help.



I thank you for your advice. And yes, I realize I should have filed charges that day. For some reason, while I knew it was the right thing to do, I just couldn't.
Now, it has been so long, that even though I have pics, I have been told by the officer @ the front desk of Salina PD, that I've waited too long...and it would come down to a "he said-he said" case.
Although it proves nothing, the boy must have finally got the hint that he's not welcome anymore. I haven't heard from him in the past 5 days anyhow.

The previous conviction was for an "argument" he got into with a former female friend. She moved out of state shortly after the fight, and neither her, nor any of the several witnesses showed up when son finally went to trial.

Truth be told, while I do believe that I should have filed charges, I honestly do not believe that a short stint in county jail would phase my son.
He has been in trouble with anger issues since about age 8.
Growing up, he spent several 30 day stints in Juvenile Detentions over the course of 8-10 years. None proved anything.
Once he graduated from high school, he joined the Army, which I hoped would straighten him out. Then he wound up spending 15 months in Iraq, as a gunner in a Hummer, trying to protect convoys. I have no idea what he may have seen, or done over there, but I'm certain it hasn't done him any good.
I do know that while in Iraq, he got demoted from Corporal, back to Private First Class, because he struck his C.O. when the C.O. found out that Cody was having sex with a female fellow soldier, & told him he had to stop.

No, I of course, do not want him to hurt ANYONE else. But, as I say, I don't think county jail, or "anger management" classes will change him.
I could be totally wrong. But I'm beginning to believe the only thing that MIGHT change him, is if he had to spend some time in a real prison...where he'd just be another piece of meat to a hardened criminal.

However, even that may not do it.
Between ages 10-18, he lived under the roof of a step-dad who previously spent 17 years in prison for attempted murder/kidnapping...met my ex-wife shortly before his release, while she was working as a cook in the Ellsworth prison...they got married a month after he was released...and since 2010 has been back in prison for robbery & murder.

I have been so very torn, these past days.
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My life, the soap opera.
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Sounds like the best thing then would just keep him at a distance and don't encourage any contacts. If he shows up at the door keep aware of where your baseball bat is.
 
That boy is headed for prison or worse. What he better get a handle on is that everybody won't allow him to treat them that way and somebody somewhere is gonna take a real active exception to his bullchit. Prison or worse...
 
Sorry to hear all of this Will. So much of what we all learned in our childhood seems lost these days. Can't even imagine what my father would have done to my skinny axx if I ever stood him down. Probably would have just called an ambulance in advance...cut down on the wait time.

My son did take a shot at the title "one time" at age 18. It twas a quick little one round bout. No drugs or alcohol just a whole lot of attitude. He was looking at the ceiling at the end of round one and wishing he had never swung the first shot.

Hope things work out for him and more importantly for you.
 
Originally Posted By: skb2706Sorry to hear all of this Will. So much of what we all learned in our childhood seems lost these days. Can't even imagine what my father would have done to my skinny axx if I ever stood him down. Probably would have just called an ambulance in advance...cut down on the wait time.

My son did take a shot at the title "one time" at age 18. It twas a quick little one round bout. No drugs or alcohol just a whole lot of attitude. He was looking at the ceiling at the end of round one and wishing he had never swung the first shot.

Hope things work out for him and more importantly for you.


Thanks.

My dad & I have argued about things, it seems my entire life. Hahaha
And there's been a few shouting matches that got me "kicked off" his property for a while.
Thank God neither of us have the tempers we used to have. (In fact, since I sent ex-wife #2 packing a decade ago, I've rarely even gotten to the "miffed" stage of a temper. Hahahaha)

Only once, when I was 16, did I ever attempt...I repeat, attempt to throw a punch at my dad.
I can still picture it......
...Dad & I working on a piece of farm machinery in the shop;
Dad = 5'11-1/2" & 185# muscle-bound construction worker/farmer;
Me = 5'8" & #140 whose attitude & temper was bigger than any muscle I had.
...Don't recall why I got mad at him. But I did, & as I was yelling cuss words, I swung a right hook at him.
...I missed by a mile, as the old man (age 40) deftly stepped aside.
...I don't know what kind of punch he threw, nor with which hand, but next thing I knew I was landing on my butt about 6ft from where I had started.
Funny thing is, he wasn't even mad.
He looked down at me & told me, "If you want to continue this "fight", just get up & try again. Otherwise, let's get back to work."
We have had MANY arguments since then, but I never lifted a hand to him again, nor wanted to...even when he called my 1st wife a whore...or my 2nd wife an ungrateful paranoid b*tch.

It seems like about the only time we didn't argue about something, was when we either were hunting (or talking about hunting) coyotes, or talking politics. hahaha
 
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