First choice would be a 1911 in 10mm. If you don't like the price of a Kimber, get a RIA. I have a Kimber and love it and my next, for carry and getting beat up, will be a RIA.
Next choice, a S&W revolver. I have a 329 and am a big fan. Yes full bore loads can hurt but you don't shoot them much and if you are shooting them in defense of yourself you won't care. I can shoot full bore 240gr loads fine, just not multiple cylinders of them for fun. Nice thing is the gun is so light you don't even notice you have it.
I also have a 41Mag Tauris 629 TI they don't make anymore. All the advantages of the 329 it a bit more compact package, except it is ported, so the only time I would fire it without hearing protection is if I am about to get mauled.