Ex-Le and a little bit passionate about using the right tool for the job.
I won't recommend anything that I expect to not penetrate for a sd round. Odds are very low that any one person will have to actually use a round in their home, odds are if that does happen, that it's a normal person on the other end and that a 'messy' and loud wound will get the job done, however if those odds don't add up a loud and messy wound isn't going to do a [beeep] thing other than make the bad guy a little easier to ID after he's done murdering you and your family. I have picked up too many bodies of all ages (plenty of natural deaths as well) to say go with what 'might' work.
Since your basically planning for a very low odds situation you're doing yourself and more importantly your loved ones a grave disservice if you don't plan appropriately. That is with a round that has a high likelihood of physically, not mentally, incapacitating someone. And that requires penetration and the ability to destroy bone, and reach beyond terminal areas. It also REQUIRES knowing where you can and can't pull the trigger.
If the badguy is standing in front of your kids bed, you need to improvise until a clear shot presents itself. That may be nothing more than the time it takes to drop to a knee to give a safe angle, it may require playing bait to position yourself and the badguy safely.
Gimmick rounds are nothing more than gimmicks and more often than not fail any given test, fail on a given subject, and are too expensive to even test reliability in a given firearm. None of the testing I'm familiar with shows any ideas regarding bullets (loaded backwards, x's carved on them etc) does anything beyond what the bullet itself would do loaded and prepped normally.
Use a premium hollowpoint with a proven track record, avoid gimmick bullets, avoid birdshot in a shotgun, and know your homes shooting lanes. Practice practice practice with your SD firearm until you can make it work, work in the dark, work in your left hand, work with your eyes closed, work with your eyes closed and left handed, work with your given ammo, just plain work.