let me hear all your French Jokes
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BroncoGlenn
New member
The French have banned the public sale and import of Red Ryder BB Guns. Apparently their laws state civilians may not own weapons used by their own military.
Why do French made firearms tend to be so durable? They need to handle the stresses of being constantly dropped.
Why do French made firearms tend to be so durable? They need to handle the stresses of being constantly dropped.
shotgun12gaugebadboy
New member
If you made a book based on all of the wars that the french have won in the 18th, 19th, and 20th centuries WITHOUT someone having to bail their butts out, it'd be shorter than the book by O.J. Simpson entitled, "The reasons why I am not the person that killed that one lady."
'First Iraq, then France'." --Tom Brokaw
"The French announced today that they would not help us remove Saddam from Iraq. Well Duh! They didn't even help us remove Hitler from France." --Jay Leno
"France said this week they need more evidence to convince them Saddam is a threat. Yeah, well the last time France asked for more evidence it came rollin' thru Paris with a German Flag on it." --Dave Letterman
Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage. --Norman Schwartzkopf (my favorite)
France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. France is miserable because it is filled with Frenchmen and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France. --Mark Twain
The only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada. --Ted Nugent
The only way the French are going in with us is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.
War without France would be like ... uh .. World War II.
What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? The French Army.
Q. How many frenchman does it take to defend Paris?
A. We don't know, it's never been tried.
The best French bashing line heard over the last week is:
"We can count on the French to be there when they need us."
"The French announced today that they would not help us remove Saddam from Iraq. Well Duh! They didn't even help us remove Hitler from France." --Jay Leno
"France said this week they need more evidence to convince them Saddam is a threat. Yeah, well the last time France asked for more evidence it came rollin' thru Paris with a German Flag on it." --Dave Letterman
Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage. --Norman Schwartzkopf (my favorite)
France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. France is miserable because it is filled with Frenchmen and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France. --Mark Twain
The only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada. --Ted Nugent
The only way the French are going in with us is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.
War without France would be like ... uh .. World War II.
What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? The French Army.
Q. How many frenchman does it take to defend Paris?
A. We don't know, it's never been tried.
The best French bashing line heard over the last week is:
"We can count on the French to be there when they need us."
NASA
New member
Once upon a time in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth.
One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.
"Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am."
"It's quite OK," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother.
Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and work out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you." "Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny.
So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches, and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit."
"Oh, thank you! Thank you," cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me."
So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone, and no balls. I'd say you must be French".
One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.
"Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am."
"It's quite OK," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother.
Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and work out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you." "Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny.
So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches, and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit."
"Oh, thank you! Thank you," cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me."
So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone, and no balls. I'd say you must be French".
coyotebuster
New member
That last one is too good!
