what are your lessons learned from divorce?

First thing that I did when my ex filed papers on me. I grabbed all my guns and archery equipment and got them out of the house so that she could not file a complaint that I threatend her with a weapon. Second thing I did was call a very good lawyer. Third thing I did was told her she could have the house but I wanted the kids. She said that there was no way that I was going to get the kids. Being in the state of Iowa a no fault state with a kid that I adopted when we got married. I told her I did not care. Then the lawyer had me get copies of everything credit card statements and bank statement. And then document everything. I also took pictures of the house and videod everything before I would leave with the kids for the weekend. I ended up having 75 exhibits for the judge to look over she only had 3. Make sure if kids are involved that you make it about the kids and not about you or your ex. Stayed in the house for a year sleeping on the floor or on the couch or in the chair. After 3 days of testimony and a month of deliberation by the judge and a pile of money for my lawyer. The judge ruled that she could have the house if she bought me out. She could get half of my 401k since the time that we were married. I would get half the credit card debt which was not much. And I WOULD GET THE KIDS as primary care giver and that she would get them every other weekend and one evening a week for 4hrs. Plus SHE HAD TO PAY ME CHILD SUPPORT and 55% of all uncovered medical bills. That was over 10yrs ago and life is good.
If i could give you any info. It would be life is too short. Get a good lawyer and fight for what you want. The lawyer bill is worth every penny that you pay.
 
Originally Posted By: Rocky1Oh yeah, I forgot one... Find out who all the best Divorce Lawyers are in town. Book an appointment with each of them. Even if you can't afford them, having discussed your case with them even briefly, they won't take her case.

This has to be the best idea that i have heard yet.
 
Goes to ethics along the lines of client confidentiality, the attorney has prior knowledge of your side of the case. It is therefore a violation of their code of ethics, (not that lawyers have any), for them to take the case.

Many attorneys offer free or reduced rate consultation on first visit, sometimes it doesn't cost you a dime. Even if it cost you a couple hundred bucks (or more) for a half hour, if they are a really nasty divorce attorney, it's money well spent if you don't have to fight them in court.
 
I learned to "NEVER" do it again! However, if you find yourself just having to be married for the sake of being married always and I mean always place any property you have that you don't want to lose in a trust or with a lien holder attached because we all know women all frown upon prenuptial's.
 
my biggest lesson learned is that joint credit cards are a very bad idea. Have your own card in your name, have a card in her name, don't do joint, and even better have all of the cards in her name with you as a signer. Then you can't get them dumped on you.

It may sound stupid, but of this whole thing, The credit cards are the worst part. Especially since they can run up some serious debt really fast.

Today is the day, and i just hope that i don't get hammered with a mountain high Alamony payment. I also hope to get my Dog back. I know some people here are not the biggest fans of Tony Tebbe. But, I love that dog he sold me a year ago. She is a great hunting partner, and in the case of my divorce, I asked for a letter talking about the dog and it's breeding. Without hesitation, he right away sent me a letter explaining the breed that i will be using in court today. So, for this I am very thankful, it was really nice of him to do, and he didn't have to, and I hope to get the dog back.
 
The best part of my divorce is when the ex ran up over $12,000 in credit card debt while we were seperated the judge decided she would have to pay it all.
 
Originally Posted By: TnslimThe best part of my divorce is when the ex ran up over $12,000 in credit card debt while we were seperated the judge decided she would have to pay it all.

hahaha mine tried that in court the day before yesterday..
So, it's finally all over.. I was worried and it seems like it was all for nothing.. She was asking for 40% of my pay in alimony for 4 years (she works and makes plenty) the judge didn't give her anything, and she only got child support.
This whole thing started over her running up CC debt behind my back, and then in court she tried to slide an extra 10K in that she had run up since we seperated, I guess hoping no one would notice.. lol
She got stuck with all of the new debt.

The judge decided on everything and she didn't win on anything, so he was gonna give her the dog (a coyote decoy dog from Tony Tebbe) I asked for the dog, he was a NO, and then i explained about the dog, and he is a Maybe, waiting to see how that goes.. I know it's just a maybe, but it's better than a no.
 


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