The Quote of the Day

[hm1996]

Dad would tell us 3 boys, " eat it for supper or eat it for breakfast".

Ahhh yes, that was the best appetizer ever.

 

[hm1996]

You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago we were swept away by the Macarena.

Jon Stewart

 

[hm1996]

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.”

Milton Berle

 

[hm1996]

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.

Jay Leno

 

[hm1996]

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

Harlan Ellison

Mr Ellison was only partially correct; he failed to mention Pelosium, which was extremely popular at the time, but which is thankfully dropping down the most common list at last:

Scientists have just discovered the densest element in the universe. It’s called Pelosium.

It has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. The particles are held together by dark forces called morons that are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Pelosium’s symbol is PU.

Pelosium’s mass increases over time as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere leading to the formation of isodopes. The trait of moron-promotion leads scientist to believe Pelosium is formed when morons reach certain quantity in concentration. This unknown hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

When catalyzed with money, Pelosium activates MSNBCadnausium, an element that radiates more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has half as peons but twice as many morons as Pelosium.

 

[hm1996]

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

Kurt Vonnegut

Scarier yet it that generation X,Y,Zers are stepping into the batter's box today!

 

[hm1996]

Behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-law.

Voltaire

 

[hm1996]

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Groucho Marx

 

[hm1996]

We are all here on earth to help others. What on earth the others are here for I don’t know.

W. H. Auden

 

[hm1996]

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.
Andy Borowitz

 

[hm1996]

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Milton Berle

 

[hm1996]

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

Rita Rudner

 

[hm1996]

If you want to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Rodney Dangerfield

 

[hm1996]

A man's life can pivot on the smallest hinge of time. No minute is without potential for momentous change, and each tick of the clock might be the voice of fate whispering a promise or a warning.
Unknown

 

[hm1996]

Before you marry a person, you should at least make them use a computer with a slow internet connection to find out who they really are.

Will Ferrell

 

[hm1996]

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.

Sid Caesar

 

[hm1996]

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

Henny Youngman

 

[Stu Farish]

 

[Foxpro.223]

View attachment 19016

 

[hm1996]

We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution.

Abraham Lincoln