Your Best Practical Joke

Ok the last two I will tell.

My best friend was living in an upscale Salt Lake neighborhood in his mother-in-laws basement. One day we killed two coyotes, skinned them and he wanted to take the skulls and boil them out. He left them in the garage for a week or so until they started to stink. Not wanting to throw them away he decide to hide them in the neighbors big overgrown bushes until he had time to boil them. Two days later, he, his wife, and mother-in-law come home and there were 3 sheriffs and an animal control truck are parked around their house. They get out of the car and a cop comes over and tells them not to be alarmed, but they found some dead pet parts, left in the bushes. Probably from a cult or witchcraft sacrifice. The animal control officer thought they were most likely collie or border collie sculls. My friend never told them what they were, and the cops stepped up patrols in the neighborhood for the next month or so.

That same kid when up to a girls camp his wife was working at, and though it would be fun to make a bear track in the sand along the river. He yelled to the girls “come see the bear track” All the 13-15 year old girls rushed over to look. Within 5 minuets the girls had called every mom and dad to come get them. The camp was one hour from Salt Lake, and moms and dads where on their way before he could stop them. He never said anything. Some girls went home while others had their dads (some armed with grandpa’s old pump shotguns) come stay with them.
 
Me and a buddy play jokes on each other all the time. We dive together and one of his most memorable jokes on me was when we were diving he brought a rubber snake with a piece of fishing line attached to it and hid it in his BC pocket. About 15 min. into the dive when I was good and relaxed, and not paying attention he shoved the snake under a rock and was shining his lite under it. When I saw him he motioned for me to come see what he had found under the rock. When I got closer he got out of my way so I could look up under the rock. When I put my head close enough, he pulled the fishing line so that I see the snake and promtly soiled my wetsuit. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif
To get him back I waited untill we were back at work. We work the oposite shift of each other so I put 6 boxes of clear geletine and some hot water in the toilet in our control room. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif He came into work, I told him it was a gravy day and left. Hitting the head is the first thing he does on shift so I got a call on my cell before I even got home. I had to pull over and stop I was laghing so hard. What was bad was he had to clean out the toilet. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
Yep, never a dull moment around here.
 
Right after high school, I hit a deer, it destroyed my car which I only had collision insurance so I never filed a police report. About a week later, I get a phone call from my mother at my girlfriends house, telling me that the sheriffs office called, she gave them my girlfriends number, phone rings, sheriffs officer wants me to come in so that they can give me a ticket for failing to report the accident. I go to the police station, they have no idea what I am talking about, they call every officer on the staff to see if they called me. I spent almost two hours there!! I finally just told them to call me if they figure it out, I get home to a message from a couple of friends laughing their butts off.

15 years later I am still waiting to pay them back.
 
I am going to tell one a buddy of mine pulled. He was a baggage man for Delta Airlines. They were loading a plane one night and spotted an armadilla on the tarmac. Caught it and threw it in the cargo hold. It made it to New York and the baggage handlers there found it. They didn't know what it was and would not enter the baggage compartment till Animal control got there. The Head CEO of Delta called my friend and told him if it ever happened again he would be fired.
 
This was a few years ago at work when of the guys decided to take a nap in his truck for lunch. He was out pretty good so one of the guys grabbed his lunch from out of the truck and then the rest of us used a few rolls of duct tape to tape the doors shut. The windows were all covered with news papers and after about half an hour he woke up. He tried the doors with no luck and without the keys he couldn't put the windows down.

He stirred up a storm cussin' and hollaring. Then we knocked on the windshield and cut away a 6"x6" opening in the news paper so he could watch us sit on the hood of the truck eating his lunch.

At that point you would swear there was a bear trapped inside the cab of the truck as much as it started rocking around.
 
Those were all pretty good, but I think I have you all beat. Except this one was played on me. Late in the month of March, 1969 I was getting ready to go up to our mountain house and heat up some water pipes to thaw them so our renters would not have to melt snow for water. My brother in law, who was home on leave from the Army was going with me.I was eighteen and was holding a 1A draft card. I had not been worried about being drafted, because we were using a draft lottery at the time, and I had a high number. The preveous year, my number was in the mid 100's, and they never even got close to calling me. This particular year, my number was 204, and six months before my eligebility ended, they were only up to about number 78. Now during that last six months, there was some kind of bug push over there, and they had gotten up to 197, so things were getting pretty scary for me with a 204 number. Dad asked me to go get the mail befor we left, and in it was a big manilla envelope, addressed to me, and it had a Presidential seal on it. I opened it and saw the words "Greetings"! I knew that I had been drafted. In the letter were instructions for me as to where I was to report for a pre induction physicle and dates as to my deployment for training at different bases in this country. Then there was a deployment date for Viet Nam. I had just bought a new truch, and a great dane puppy. After two hours of my whining, I called the paper, and put in a for sale ad for my truck, and called the lady I bought the dog from, and asked her if she could take the dog back. I explaned that I just got drafted, and my folks could not care for the dog. Dad was blind, and Mom had her plate full caring for him at the time. I even told her that she could keep the $400.00 I paid for the dog, just find her a good home. I really didn't think I would be returning from that awful place. Many of my friends didn't, and the ones that did were pretty messed up. Tony and I left for the mountain house, and for three days, we worked on the pipes. All the while, I was sweating being kiled in Viet Nam. He was in the Army, and had just returned from 13 months in country. He did see some action, but because of some kind of illness, he was reassigned to a desk job in a base that had only been hit once, and that was "friendly fire" from one of our ships. When we got home, he asked me if he could look over my papers, telling me that he might be able to find some loop hole in them and I might be able to get out of it. He took the papers, and after a short while, said there was only one thing that might get me out. He took them and ripped them up! He said that if any one should ask, tell them I never got them! Now, I'm thinking that I going to be locked up for desertion, and I didn't even have a uniform yet! Then he yells "April Fools"! He let me sweat for four days, and tells me that it was an April Fools joke. What made it even worse was that my whole family, with the exception of my brother who also had a 1A card, was in on it! His job in the Army at his new duty station was to type up draft notices, and mail them out to new drafties. He had access to all the forms, the duty station numbers, and everything else he needed to make real draft notices. Well, it cost him two teeth, and a fractured jaw, but I have to admit, he got me good. I told him that I would get him back, but in 36 years now, I still have not come up with something that would top that one. Any sugestions?
 
I have "heard" that you can file a certificate of death with the county in which you live. Can you imagine what kinds of problems this might give the person that met their untimely demise? I had a friend that went through this some time back, and he still hasn't gotten his life back in order. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused1.gif

With friends like me, who really needs enemies. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grinning-smiley-003.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif
 
Back a few years ago I worked at a large factory that made portable stageing. There was a lot of eighteen year olds that come and go not working long in a place where work was hard and hours long. We had several jokes that were known company wide so all would play along and see how long we could string someone along. Our all time favorite was to send the new guy to the fab shop for the "bolt stretcher", they would send him to enginering for prints, which of course they had a set of, then to scheduling for work orders, back to fab to cut the parts, then to welding to put together,then to assembly for the bolt that needed "stretched". We had a shelf full of these things, all signed and dated by who we got.

The best one by far was played on the bosses son in law. He would not have had a job if not for dadies daughter. We sent him to the hardware store for a set of "Fallopian Tubes". They sent him to the lumber yard, they sent him to the drug store, which is where it was explained to him what they were. Well he went to the boss who to came yell at me, for picking on his son in law. The sad thing was that kid was making more money than any of us,and will be running that company some day.

SHAMELESS
 
if you really want to get somone good you give them an UPPER DECK

go into their bathroom and take a crap in the top tank of their toilet. every time they flush chunks of crap will make its way down into the toliet bowl. it is hell to clean and it stinks bad. all my old college buddies did this to each other for years.....
 
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there's a couple of guys who are always playing jokes on each other. They'd have coffee together every morning. One day they were in a motelroom together and while one of they was taking his shower the other one put just a dab of 5 minute epoxy on the other guys zipper. Then took him out for coffee.
 
Lets see here at work there are so many to pick from.

Cherry or Grape koolaid place in a gel cap that medication comes in....put it in a shower head takes a minutes for the gel cap to melt. We have had alot of "smurfs" here at work.

After you run the pt. that has vomited all over the back of the truck......wait till your partner starts to clean up....run in and open a can of cream style corn.....get yourself a big mouthfull....walk out to the truck and when you partner looks at you with that sick look on their face....blow that corn all over the place........dont stand to close to your target or you'll be the next target.....this also works on someone while they are guttin a deer or hog....
 
We broke in my son into the hunting club.

We're sitting on a couple of logs outside the cabin watching the campfire. My boy is sitting between me and my wife's Uncle Rod. A big woodpile is to my right. I excuse myself to hit the head and go into the cabin and take the biggest mounted buck off the wall and sneak back outside around the woodpile. Rod gets the boys attention, and I get on my knees at the back of the woodpile while holding the deer head. I move the head around the woodpile facing my son and Rod puts on a real scared face, looks towards the deer and says to my boy in a real stern voice, "DON'T MOVE" Of course the boy looks to the right as I bob the deer head up and down towards my son. He jumps off the log and almost ruins his pants as he takes off to the other side of the campfire. We all got a laugh out of that one for a long time....................
 
And another one. We epoxied a ball bearing into a tire valve cap from my buddy's car. When you screw it down it makes a real slow leak. After two weeks of checking the tire and filling it up with air all the time, we switch caps to the rear tire and it starts all over again. His mechanic never caught on after checking the tire many, many times, luckily he knew the guy and it didn't cost anything, but we drove them both nuts for awhile...........
 
Safecracker......that one tops them all. There is only one way to get even on that one and it ain't legal!

My wife and I were once leaders in our church's youth group. We planned a hike up in the high country and with another couple took about 20 kids. It was a pretty stiff hike up to this high alpine lake and some of the girls were having a tough time of it. There were a few of the boys with an abundance of testosterone and no brains and they were trying to show how "tough" they were. Myself and the other adult male took the boys to another part of the lake to camp. In the morning, just before leaving, I got the other guy to take the boys on a short walk up over the hill. As soon as they were out of sight, I began putting what I figured to be about 20 pounds of rocks in each backpack. They came back, everyone donned their packs and away we went. We hadn't gone a mile when the boys started whinning that they were getting tired and it seemed like they were carrying more. Not one of them checked into the bottom of their packs! They were all worn out when we got off the mountain and didn't say much on the ride home. I sure caught it the next day when they started putting their gear away.
 
Speaking of Kool Aid. During fire prevention week we send hundreds of kids through the fire station on tours. Place red koolaid in one glove and grape in the other of the rookie that puts his turnout gear on for the kids. when he takes his hands out they are stained for the rest of the shift and the kids will remember it ever. Can be used in most work sites.

Shameless
 
I've been wracking my brain trying to come up with the best one, but there are so many that would tie for best. I'll just tell about one of the earliest that I can remember.

Our High-School had a Parents Night. In my 10th grade science class we had an aquarium with tadpoles in it. I made an official looking sign that read "Enlarged Sperm Cells" and placed it on the aquarium. Some of the parents were quite amazed. Most of the students and the rest of the parents got a good laugh out of it. Mr Zabriski, our science teacher was NOT amazed and was NOT laughing when he finally saw the sign. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif The next day I got sent to the Principal's office to "explain" myself. The Principal couldn't stop laughing and sent me back to class, but I had to promise to not tell Mr. Zabriski that the Principal and I laughed 'till tears were running down our faces.
 
You know, these posts are classics. Mike, now that you have this thread going, you ought to compile them into a book. Sure has brought back memories. Like......

In metal shop in high school. The teacher stepped out of the shop and all of us opened the shop doors, ran out and literally picked up his car and brought it in and set it up on the work bench and then left class. He had one of those little 3 wheeled cars, I can't remember what they were called. Anyway, we all got sent to the principles office, like Weasel, and the principle couldn't help but laugh.
 
Prussian Blue is about the most interesting compound available. I'm a millwright and work in large factories and power plants. I've seen bluing put in hard hats, gloves, door handles etc. A couple of guys I know brought a tube of bluing with them to a bar. They spread it on all the toilet handles and faucets. By the end of the night that place was covered in bluing, people were trying to wash it off, but they didn't realize soap and water doesn't do much for bluing.
We have tied a roll of caution tape to a person't bumper, so that when they drive away it unrolls. Tied a railroad tie to a guys bumper.(that got ugly) Put antiseize on windshield wipers.
I've put locktight in certain guys locks, needless to say, they have to cut them off. Screwed lunch boxes to tables.
Here's one that happened to me. I missed a few days of work, so the guys there drilled a hole in my tool box, installed a zerk fitting, and pumped it full of grease. I mean clear full with an air operated grease gun. I was not impressed. That's just a few I have either heard of or been involved in.
 
a guy I worked with put grease under my door handle so
the next day I broke in his truck put little sponges in
the vents and used a needle and syringe with skunk scent to fill the sponges he never messed with me again by the way it was winter
 
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